Managing Stress: Joe Piscatella’s Advice For Us Poor Perfectionists

This morning I went to the Northwest Kidney Center’s fund raising breakfast, “Breakfast Of Hope” and there was a wonderful speaker there: Best-selling author Joe Piscatella.

When I took his short test before the breakfast began to determine who was a “Type A” personality and got an A+, I knew I better listen to what he had to say!

I wanted to share with you some of Joe Piscatella’s tips on Stress Management.

1. Stress Management vs Stress Reduction

Joe made a great distinction between the idea of “Stress Management” vs “Stress Reduction.” He suggested that we could all manage our stress better than eliminating it. In fact he thought that any of us deluding ourselves that we will ever totally and completely able to eliminate stress.

But he pointed out that there was no such thing actually as a stressful event, only our own personal and unique response to it is what makes one event or another “stressful.”

2. Where Is Your Stress Coming From?

Joe suggested that we take a look at our habits and see where our stress is coming from. I thought about all of us poor Perfectionists out there. He spoke of us “high achievers” all with a sense of “time urgency” who are “guilty doing nothing” and who “love competition” who “will even finish your sentences for you” and spend our time “predominantly driving in the far left lane trying to set land speed records!”

I was thinking, “Does this guy know me or what?”

At least I didn’t do one thing he said, “Playing to win even with small children.” that was a relief.

And don’t get me started on emails, the deadly time sapper that it is.

3.Take Action: Developing a Relaxation Response Through Deep Breathing

Joe next led us through a breathing exercise that was great and not unlike what I tell my own clients.

•  Take A Deep Breath- No not a chest constricted breath like the majority of us are doing all day. Take a Deep Breath. One down deep in your belly.
• Take the air through your nose and push your stomach out
• Next slowly release the breath like a whistle through your lips as you press your belly button slowly back toward the base of your spine.
• Make sure you whistle the entire breath out and get your belly button as close to your spine as you can before you begin again to take another breath.

Joe suggested that if you breathed that way for just five minutes a day it would be impossible for you to feel stressed out for those five minutes and that is would actually induce a relaxation response.

Yup. Perfectionists tend to hold their breath too! So that’s a really helpful hint!

4. Keep A Sense Of Proportion

Joe suggested we all consider keeping a better perspective on things. He mentioned that really everything is inherently neutral and that there are no stressful events, only stressful responses.

Yes as a confirmed perfectionist, I know that stress response quite well!

Well we perfectionists may not feel we can change the cards we’re dealt, but as Joe Piscatella‘s wife said to him after he was diagnosed with heart disease at the young age of 32:
“We can change the way we play our cards.”

There are many options to bring our stress responses down. Just listen to Joe Piscatella

Even if you don’t consider yourself a perfectionist, try Joe Piscatella‘s breathing exercise at the very least. You’ll like it!